The Answer: To Ease Their Way
I'll state proudly at the start that I am a fool. Always have been. I'm not motivated in ways most people are.
My first twenty-two years were flush with white privilege and white ignorance. Mine was a carefree childhood protected from many of the realities of the world
(protected in a way that, in a just and humane world, all children would be protected). My formal education
had been continuously and dogmatically Catholic, until I met some Jesuits who taught me a different, more critical way of thinking.
I took a course from one Jesuit priest who was a scholar of apocryphal gospels—each
year he would spend half his time in the States and the other half in the Holy Land studying scriptures in the original languages. One lesson
I gained from his course is that institutions, especially large ones, will do almost anything to maintain the status quo and stifle or censor any thinking that
would undermine their authority. This, he found, was the dominant theme of many of the apocrypha and the reason the Christian hierarchy had denounced them.
I was becoming a skeptic. My schooling was over but my education was just beginning.
After graduation I volunteered to serve in the military at a time when much of the country and the world was condemning anyone engaged in the war effort.
My personal animus against the war in Vietnam involved the draft, a purely evil invention by old men to spend the lives of poor young men to make profit
through war. Although I had a critical skills deferment from the draft, I hated it and felt a moral obligation to try to save lives and not to live blind to unfairness and injustice.
My first year as a junior officer was mostly spent in learning what it takes to be a leader, as I describe in my stories of
Billy Hicks and Lew Williams.
But then came my year in Vietnam, and the beginning of my real education. As I describe in
Charlie Lee, where I learned leadership from a true master, and
"Now You Know", where I witnessed firsthand just how destructive arrogance and unchecked egotism can be,
and I opposed it in subtle and 'foolish' ways. But I also observed real courage and true brotherhood for the first time.
And for the first time I was living side-by-side with people of all colors, cultures and traditions, most of whom had been sent to war under duress.
Strange as it may seem, those with the most traumatic histories were the ones I came to have the most respect for and the ones I found I could trust the most in hard times.
My third year I commanded a basic training company. That experience showed me that I could be instrumental in improving the prospects of people in the most difficult circumstances.
Back then, my work with Sergeant Oliver was most influential in broadening and clarifying my world view.
For me it was a time of great foolishness, and I look back on those years now as the beginning of the quest that has driven me ever since: to ease the way of
those most in need. For decades now, whenever I've been asked to do something foolish for someone—something costly that offers no tangible reward for me—
the fool's conscience in me has always been very clear: "Ease their way."
In 1992, having seen my daughters—your mothers—through high school and having completed my MBA, I looked beyond home and career for ways to be of use. What I
came upon was a pilot program seeking adult mentors for at-risk teens at a time when gangs and
drive-by shootings dominated the news in Portland. This was just what I was looking for... basic training 2.0. I committed to
being involved for one year, stayed for seven, and ended up chairing the board of the organization.
Chairman wasn't where the action was, so in 1999 I ended my tenure in the mentoring organization and became a Court Appointed Special Advocate
(CASA).
As a CASA, for almost 15 years I was an agent in court cases advocating for abused and neglected children in Multnomah County and strongly affecting the outcome of cases.
It was remarkably effective work, but the reality was that as CASAs gained experience—typically CASA tenure was 2-5 years, I stayed for 15—we were assigned tougher and tougher cases.
In the end, as one of the most senior CASAs I was appointed to two heart-breaker cases that offered no possible win for the children.
Those two setbacks were so disturbing I decided to move on and volunteer at the other end of the age spectrum.
I began driving routes for Meals on Wheels in 2013 and I still really enjoy delivering meals to shut-ins and those
in our community with serious disabilities or who are living in deep poverty. It's vitally important work and the Meals operation is remarkably complex and beneficial.
I'll be involved in it for as long as I am able.
In 2015 your grandmother and I became Long Term Care Ombudsmen (LTCO)
for the State of Oregon. We advocated for residents in...
- Avamere Crestview of Portland, a nursing home;
- The Taft Home, a residential care facility right out of a Dickens novel;
- Markham House, an assisted living facility;
- and two adult foster homes in the Portland area.
This again was important work on behalf of those with serious disabilities or who may have been abused or taken advantage of.
Back in the days when I mentored teens, one of my fellow mentors was Kathy Marchant. Kathy had given up a successful management career to do public service (another foolish thing to do).
She subsequently became a student of Marshall Rosenberg and has taught Compassionate Communication since 1996.
In the course of her years of teaching she has improved the lives of many hundreds of Oregonians.
While I can't do what she does, I'm honored to assist her in developing and administering her programs.
In 2016 I joined my long-time friend Jude Russell, another former mentor of at-risk teens, in working in the Oregon Department of Correction's
Volunteer Program. Specifically Jude,
along with a few others, had been working with a group of twenty prisoners, some incarcerated for life, in Oregon's Two Rivers Correctional Institution in Umatilla
(about three hours east of Portland). It's impossible for me to express how profoundly I've been influenced by the integrity and intelligence of these twenty men.
I curently chair the board of the parent organization of this prison program, Open Hearts Open Minds.
OHOM sponsors volunteer activities within the Oregon prison system, including the production of remarkable performances by inmates of both Shakespearean and modern plays.
As a correlated activity, I mentor inmates as they transition out of prison and into civilian life. It is remarkable, to say the least, how much courage and humility it takes for an
ex-felon to return to society with almost no money and having to face a world of prejudice. Those who succeed have my deepest respect.
As I mentioned elsewhere, at the request of an inmate I've begun a project to help those in difficult circumstances find the support they need. It began as a website,
The Path, and is
evolving into something much bigger, The Path Next Gen.
So there you have it—my life as a fool. As I reflect on it all, the adventure has remained full and satisfying, even now as I see my own sun going
down. In fact, I've found great joy and comfort all along the way.
And so with love and joy I invite you to join me in foolishness to Ease Their Way.